Monday, 13 October 2014

Everyone's been there...

Everyone's been there. It's that time of your life where you don't know whats what. You don't know which way to turn. Or how. Or why. You try to figure out why things happened a certain way but its futile. You try searching for answers but instead get nowhere. Maybe I'm talking rubbish. I don't know. And maybe no-ones even reading this. But, hey, I'll just keep typing anyway. These past two years have been so hard on me. In more ways than one.
So in future, my posts will be of a slightly different nature. Not necessarily nursing. But about life in general. Because life is the most complex, confusing, and utterly surreal thing that has actually ever happened to me. So, this will be my online diary. I'll talk to you as a friend. A non-judgemental, online friend who I can be completely honest with. Right, so where exactly shall I start. I suppose I have to start somewhere.
Okay well here goes, I guess. I grew up and still live in a town in England. Still live with parents, sometimes see friends. But really my life at the moment can be summed up as this - Eat, sleep, work, repeat. Yeah, fun. Sometimes I wonder if theres more to life. I try talking to my parents about this but then the conversation always steers back to religion. And whilst don't mind religion, I just can't stand the way they shove it down my throat. Two years ago I chose a life of independence. Free from the shackles that I felt bound to. (I'll explain all this in time, I promise!!) Since then, I have one brother that tries hard to pretend I don't exist (Lets call him E) and another that I'm desparetely trying to rebuild a relationship with (and we'll call him W). I drive to an freezing cold office I work at almost everyday, filled with vacuous, self-absorbed people, every word they say having a double meaning.
Then there's the love life. which is pretty much non-existent haha.. well, I was left a bit broken hearted when the guy I'd been seeing posted a picture of himself on facebook with another girl.. since then I've been asked to move to bristol by a guy I barely know.. A newly single ex has reappeared and won't stop messaging me.. And a guy I've been talking to for a couple of weeks is suddenly talking commitment when we haven't even met face-to-face - Oh and he's in the military so he'll be leaving for Korea in a few months.. Yeah. messed up huh?
It doesn't stop there! I've got so much more to tell but I'll get to the juicy bits later! Think I've typed enough for now. But, like I say. everyone's been there. Haven't they?

Emily x

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