How to get a boyfriend.

Hello everyone!!! Seeing as I have extensive experience in love (hahaha...), i thought it would be a great idea for me to post about it.
Having trouble getting a boyfriend? Fells like you've been single for ages? You've come to the right blog!!
Below are my (fool-proof) tips to get a boyfriend!!!!

1. Dont sleep with him on the first date.
You heard. Dont give it up. In fact,dont give it up EVERRRR. He'll want you more.

2. ALWAYS, and i mean ALWAYS - play hard. to. get.
Kind of relating to the previous tip. If they text you, take AGESS to reply. They love the chase. Imagine you are the goat and they are the lion... Or something like that. Well, either way, be the unattainable. Guys love that.

3. Be wonderful and know it.
You are a beautiful, fantastic woman. You are the prize. Do NOT settle for just anyone!!

4. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy life.
So what if Mr Gorgeous hasn't texted you back after that amazing date you had last week!! His loss! You had things to do that night anyway. Plus, you prefer the single life. More money for yourself. More time for yourself. And you dont have to shave your legs either!!

So those are my secrets to getting a boyfriend! Good luck, beauts!!

Emily xx

Signed Off.

Good evening, Beauts! Okay, so I have to fill you in on the latest happenings in the world of Emily!
So, I havent been to work in about five days because I've been signed off by the doctor for depression. Obviously, I'm SOOO pleased about that! As if i could stand another day in that place.. So I've been just relaxing and chilling at home. (Yeah sorry I havent updated before now...). I'm off until the 19th Nov thank god. Fully paid of course. I've had lie ins every f#cking day and its been amazinggg!!!
I'm going out in Norwich with Domi and chels this weekend to get HAMMEREDDD (ohh and its chelseas birthday..). So tomorrow the plan is to buy a new dress for saturday! I'm looking for something like a midi style dress and I'm planning on having my hair up because my hair dryer broke and I cba to buy a new one lol.
My life is sooo exciting that I went to see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at the cinema with soph the other day. It was awesome. Okay well on that note, time to go to sleep!! Talk to you later!

Emily xx

Halloween.

Hello my beautiful readers! How was your halloween? From what I remember, mine was great! Me soph and chels went out in town and, of course, had one too many drinks! The next day I was feeling slightly ill... haha.

So, what else is happening in the world of emily?! Well, this week I found out that soph got a promotion and if moving to the other end of the floor. Now, while I do feel very happy for her. I also know that shes one of the only people (if not THE only person) that I actually get on with. I normally try hard not to mix with people at work (because it almost always ends in drama and tears and feeling awkward at work). But, I was very pleased that I met Soph because she just gets me. And Trust me, not many people do. haha..

And of course, my love life is still dreadful! And I do have a bit of a confession - I've been talking to a former flame online. But not as myself. Thats right. As someone else. A catfish, I guess you could say. I've leaarned a lot from it too! I've learned that you can never trust anyone online! I asked him about his previous encounters and he just said none of them worked out because they left the country to work abroad... bullsh#t!!! what a total piece of garbage!! OMG i just wanna punch him!! But, I wont of course! I'll keep you posted on the juicy details!

Emily x